Same old Stories

Guy: Oh man. Okay, I really have to tell you the one about my friend and his uncle.
Girl: You've told me that one before.
Guy: Well have I told you the one about the youtube video?
Girl: Yes.
Guy: Well what about the one where my friend's uncle tried to stay at his apartment for two weeks?
Girl: That's actually the same story you tried to tell me 30 seconds ago.

Can't Take it Anymore

Guy: How's your salad?
Girl: Good.
Guy: Yeah? Mine's good, too.
Girl: I generally like salads at restaurants.
Guy: Me too.
Girl: But this was kinda expensive.
Guy: It's alright.
Girl: Cool...
...

Good Story

Reasons why talking to girls is hard #10: can't use homo-eroticism to salvage a boring story
Guy: I was trying to get some cereal, but they ran out of cereal at the store.
Guy: So I asked the guy at the counter, and he said he would go to the back room and check.
Girl: fascinating...
Guy: Well ... then he gave me a beej.
Girl: Good to know you graduated middle school